Tuesday, May 17, 2011

If I Could I Would.....

Sometimes I envy the so called 'uncivilized', uneducated and even mentally unstable people. Why? Because they don't hide behind the veil of courtesy and politeness, they say what they want to say and when they want to say it. On the other hand people like us are conditioned to 'bite our tongues' and not act out on our impulses. Obviously this is necessary otherwise chaos, misery and bloodshed would rule- wait a minute... aren't those rampant anyways? But jokes apart, this veil of courtesy keeps our relationships intact, without politeness and courtesy we would not only soon become completely isolated and disliked by most people, but also face very unpleasant consequences.

However there are times when I wish that for just a little while I could push away my conditioning and really act out what is going through my mind rather than just smile and ignore.  Of course sometimes I can't do anything because I don't have the authority or the power to do anything. So if I could do anything, what would I do?

If I could I would yank that VIP by the collar who walks straight to the top of line at the airport check-in or immigration counter.
But instead I merely put on an expression of disgust and desperation and quietly mutter 'this is unfair'.

If I could I would pepper spray every low life who starts singing when he sees a woman. Instead I just ignore it as if it didn't happen.

If I could I would castrate the entire village panchayat who sanctions gang rape as a punishment. But instead I just avoid reading or hearing about that news because it makes me sick to my stomach.

If I could I would take all those TV news anchors who turn their talk shows into a 3 ring circus and damage the little remaining dignity we have as a nation, and put them in the empty cages of Karachi Zoo, where children could make them perform for their peanuts. But like most of you I just watch in disgust and then flip the channel.

If I could I would tell that mother whose child is running around screaming and kicking that their kid is the evidence of the missing link - physically human with a chimpanzee personality. But I just find the spot farthest and safest from that kid instead and hope IT doesn't come near me.

If I could I would start separate flights for adult passengers and passengers with babies - your baby's crying may be music to your ears but it jars my nerves. Instead I count the number of babies on the flight and calculate the odds of  enjoying a relaxing flight.

If I could I would walk out of a meeting with a client who insists on telling me how to do my job even though he/she has no clue of what they are talking about. But of course I just sit there and say 'sure', 'how interesting' blah blah blah.

If I could I would pass the law that only those people can stand for election who pay at least the same amount of tax that an average Pakistani working in middle-management positions does. But of course that's just a pipe-dream.

If I could I would tell the next person who tells me I'm looking thinner, or have put on more weight, or too tanned etc that I wish I could say something about them but they are just not important enough for me to remember the details of their appearance.

Ahhh the list goes on and on but you get my point. Some things we won't and some things we can't. But the one thing we can do is act on them in our minds ... no one comes there unless we allow them, so its completely safe:-)

PS: If you could...what would you do? Please post your comments.

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