The wonderful thing about
life is that on every turn it poses a new question and it is in our struggle to
find the answers to them that our growth takes place. I shudder at the thought
of a life where I wouldn’t struggle with these dilemmas and mysteries. How
boring our lives would be. I never want
my life to be a straight highway, I like to travel on curving bending roads
clinging to the mountains. The views are great but you never know what the next
bend will bring. I simply love it and on that note the latest question I am
struggling with is precisely that - Love!
First let me clarify that I don’t
mean romantic love, which one falls in and out of. I am talking about the more
persistent and permanent kind of love, the kind we feel for our parents, kids,
country etc. This is a deep seated emotion in humans and we cannot function
without it. The absence of love especially in our formative years can lead to psychological
problems which persist throughout our lives and prisons across the globe hold
evidence of this.
We are reasonably good at
loving people. Our love is not dependent upon contrast. Contrast is nature’s
way of making us appreciate something by placing it next to something which is
its absolute opposite. For example we appreciate light because of darkness, we
crave for justice when we see injustice, we focus on abundance when we come
across lack in any area of our life etc. But we don’t love our kids because we
find our friend’s children disgusting. Our parents don’t tell us to show our
love for them by showing hate for all other parents of this world. Then what
happens to us when we apply the same love on concepts, ideas or the
intangible? Why does our love for our country have to be demonstrated by hating
another? Why does love for your religion mean that you hate people of other
religions? Why must I protect my ideas and paradigms by exhibiting a repulsion
for those who have a completely opposite thought process? In short why is love
so dependent on hate? I struggle with this especially when it comes to
patriotism. I am a proud Pakistani and one who refuses by choice to live in any
other country but why must I hate all Indians to prove my love for my country?
Frankly I don’t care about my neighbor, they can do what they want in their
house and I will do what I want in mine. Obviously if the people in my next
door apartment do anything which violates my privacy, freedom or safety I
should and I will retaliate. But unless that happens I will not go on telling
everyone how much I hate them. Same rule applies to countries and religions
etc.
If we want to change the
world then we have to teach our children to love. You and I are not world
leaders, nor are we revolutionaries, but in our homes running around and making
incessant racket is tomorrow. Its these kids who will in a few years inherit
this planet from us, if each parent taught their kids how to love without hating
the opposite, in the next couple of decades this would be a different planet
altogether. We need to let them know the mirror of hate does not reflect love. Alas no school teaches this and no parent thinks of it. In fact at
home when we crib and swear about how much we hate the politicians, our boss,
our colleague etc. we are teaching our kids that to love one means to hate the
other. By the time the child is 3 years old his/her world map is almost complete, largely drawn by
what he/she hears regardless of their language skills. So if you do nothing else the least you can do
is shut up about your negativity when your child is within earshot even though
that child is simply a drooling, gurgling baby right now.
