Love Does Not Require The Mirror of Hate

The wonderful thing about life is that on every turn it poses a new question and it is in our struggle to find the answers to them that our growth takes place. I shudder at the thought of a life where I wouldn’t struggle with these dilemmas and mysteries. How boring our lives would be.  I never want my life to be a straight highway, I like to travel on curving bending roads clinging to the mountains. The views are great but you never know what the next bend will bring. I simply love it and on that note the latest question I am struggling with is precisely that - Love!

First let me clarify that I don’t mean romantic love, which one falls in and out of. I am talking about the more persistent and permanent kind of love, the kind we feel for our parents, kids, country etc. This is a deep seated emotion in humans and we cannot function without it. The absence of love especially in our formative years can lead to psychological problems which persist throughout our lives and prisons across the globe hold evidence of this.

We are reasonably good at loving people. Our love is not dependent upon contrast. Contrast is nature’s way of making us appreciate something by placing it next to something which is its absolute opposite. For example we appreciate light because of darkness, we crave for justice when we see injustice, we focus on abundance when we come across lack in any area of our life etc. But we don’t love our kids because we find our friend’s children disgusting. Our parents don’t tell us to show our love for them by showing hate for all other parents of this world. Then what happens to us when we apply the same love on concepts,  ideas or the intangible? Why does our love for our country have to be demonstrated by hating another? Why does love for your religion mean that you hate people of other religions? Why must I protect my ideas and paradigms by exhibiting a repulsion for those who have a completely opposite thought process? In short why is love so dependent on hate? I struggle with this especially when it comes to patriotism. I am a proud Pakistani and one who refuses by choice to live in any other country but why must I hate all Indians to prove my love for my country? Frankly I don’t care about my neighbor, they can do what they want in their house and I will do what I want in mine. Obviously if the people in my next door apartment do anything which violates my privacy, freedom or safety I should and I will retaliate. But unless that happens I will not go on telling everyone how much I hate them. Same rule applies to countries and religions etc.

If we want to change the world then we have to teach our children to love. You and I are not world leaders, nor are we revolutionaries, but in our homes running around and making incessant racket is tomorrow. Its these kids who will in a few years inherit this planet from us, if each parent taught their kids how to love without hating the opposite, in the next couple of decades this would be a different planet altogether. We need to let them know the mirror of hate does not reflect love. Alas no school teaches this and no parent thinks of it. In fact at home when we crib and swear about how much we hate the politicians, our boss, our colleague etc. we are teaching our kids that to love one means to hate the other. By the time the child is 3 years old his/her  world map is almost complete, largely drawn by what he/she hears regardless of their language skills.  So if you do nothing else the least you can do is shut up about your negativity when your child is within earshot even though that child is simply a drooling, gurgling baby right now.

Bouncing Back From Failure

Failures are a normal event in most people’s lives, however there are some who seem to get more than their fair share. Each time they ask themselves “why me”? Each time their self confidence takes a battering. Each time the sense of helplessness becomes stronger, and each time it becomes more and more difficult to bounce back. But there are ways to recover even if you have had a series of failures and think you have no energy left to fight back.

Step 1 - Get it out of your system

Keeping it bottled up inside does not help. You end up feeling miserable and making everyone around you miserable as well. Many people especially men are conditioned to maintain a ‘stiff upper lip’ no matter what, but not only does it affect your emotional state your health also takes a big hit. You are of no use to anyone including yourself if your are sick or worse – dead! Do whatever you have to in order to get it out of your system. If you want to cry - do it, if you want to scream – then scream, if you want to put your feelings down on paper – then start writing. Most people secretly blame others for their failures, their friends or family, their colleagues, their stock broker etc. Blame everyone you think is even remotely associated with your failure. But this should be a completely private exercise, it does not mean that you actually seek out everyone and tell them how you think they have contributed to your misery. This may seem a very negative thing to do but believe me it works as it helps you to bring to surface any residual resentment, so that nothing is left festering inside you anymore. One may say that this exercise will make them feel worse, yes it will but you have to hit rock bottom before you can bounce back.

Step 2 – Acceptance

Once you have everything out of your system, then you can take the next step. Realize that you are powerless to travel back in time and change your life. What has happened is in the past, dwelling on it will not change the present outcome. Whoever or whatever was responsible cannot change your present. Your “what if” thinking is not going to have any bearing on a past event – What if you had not listened to x,y,z and invested your money? What if you had taken the other job offer? What if … what if…. Pointless and a total waste of time, you past is permanently part of your history. But your future starts in this moment right now. The choice is yours whether you want to keep thinking of all that happened and ensure that it happens in your future as well or do you say ‘enough’ and put it behind you once and for all.

Step 3 – Get over it

There are millions who are in the same situation as you and there are several millions in worse situations. Big deal! Nobody can make the right choice each time. Everyone ends up at the wrong time at the wrong place at some point in their lives, success depends upon what you do after a choice that didn’t go according to plan. The world is not conspiring against you. None of us is that important! Be thankful that you survived a really bad patch in your life. The act of being thankful is important and extremely powerful. We have grown up hearing that ‘Allah always knows what is best for us’. In fact many religions subscribe to this theory, and when a statement is echoed over millennia by completely opposing religions, then it can be considered as a “universal truth’. So understand the wisdom of this truth and internalize it. Our problem seems to be that we become fanatical about the rituals of the religions we follow and use its wisdom only as quotations which we spout in public. If God does know what’s best for us then He must have purposely put us through this situation to teach us something. What were your most important take-aways from this period of your life.? Did you find out who your true friends were and who were not?

Step 4 – Take responsibility

If you have realized that this failure was no more than a life lesson, then its time to understand what it was trying to teach you. You put the blame on everyone else but what about yourself? What did you do to attract this situation? This is not about beating yourself up and telling yourself that you are a loser. This is about taking stock of your own areas of improvement. Are there any attitudes or beliefs you are holding on to which seem to be at play here e.g. a refusal means that they don’t like you? Do you feel that you were lacking in some key skills which led to this failure e.g planning, budgeting or getting work done from people? Are there certain habits which contributed to this problem e.g. procrastination? By doing this you will be taking a positive step for your future as well as realize that putting the blame on others was somewhat unfair.

Step 5 – Take action

Make a list of lessons learnt and identify what you need to do differently next time. By taking action in the present you change your future. Start working on your areas of improvement. Get ready for the next opportunity and have belief that it will come. The outcome of your future opportunity will change because you yourself have changed, if not history will keep repeating itself.

Courage - the basic ingredient

I have always wondered what is that single most important thing that parents need to teach their children? Seems like a pointless question for someone like me to ponder over considering that I don’t have any myself, but that’s me, always pointlessly pondering over the pointless. One does that when one has all the time in the world and nothing really important to think about.

Like most people I started with a list of attributes that any parent should inculcate in their child. The ability to differentiate between right and wrong was at the top of this list. Obviously if parents don’t teach this to their children, who else will? And where will civilization be without this basic human quality? Confidence was the next item on my list. When parents encourage and appreciate their children even after a failure, children learn to believe in their abilities - such an important trait during their educational years and later and their adult life. Curiosity and asking questions was also very important. If parents try and answer their children rather than shutting them up, the children grow up with a learning mind-set. As they grow-up their curiosity leads them to ever expanding horizons and growth. Of course there were other characteristics as well such as, compassion, faith, responsibility etc.

 But something was missing. I could not put my finger at it but felt that some underlying value was missing, something which was so important that it acted as the foundation on which all other values stood firm. You see experience has taught me that most parents do ensure that their children learn to differentiate between right and wrong but most adults seem to forget that basic lesson. It is not that as adults we become evil or all tread the wrong path, but most of us learn to ignore the wrong around us, hence encouraging it to grow. In our own lives we zig zag between right and wrong telling ourselves that this is being practical in today’s world.

Our confidence also seems to waver depending upon who we are with. With equals and people less powerful than us we are like strutting peacocks ready to display our colours to the max, but when we are with those who are more privileged or powerful we tend to fold into ourselves.

Curiosity and willingness to ask questions also seems to diminish with age.  Let me correct myself, the willingness to ask stimulating questions goes down, our need to know the intimate details of other people’s lives on the other hand goes up exponentially.   

So what is the magic ingredient that acts as a long term stabilizer which preserves all the other values? I came up with courage. The etymology of the word courage is the old French word corage meaning the heart or innermost feelings. Don’t confuse courage with heroism. While heroism requires courage, courage need not always be translated into heroic deeds. 

Knowing right from wrong is one thing, but it requires courage to stand up for what is right and an even greater amount of courage to be on the right side ourselves and listen to that inner voice which constantly guides us. 

Confidence too requires courage – the courage to brace ourselves, steel our nerves and hold our ground in the presence of others. We know our abilities but it requires courage to keep believing in them when others don’t, that is what confidence really is. One does not have to be cocky to be confident, one can be very unassuming and yet confident. One of the definitions of confidence is ‘assured expectation’ and that assurance requires courage to first know your capabilities, admit what you cannot do and have belief in your abilities to deliver what you can do.

To ask questions is to invite exploration and the trepid do not make good explorers. When you start asking difficult questions you usually end up with unsettling answers. The truth is not always what is familiar and accepting that is not easy. Even more difficult is to adopt your newly discovered truths into your life and change your hitherto familiar life map. So most people give up this quest the moment they hit the boundaries of uncharted territories. Such a shame, because at that moment they stop living and start merely to exist, inside they die early on although physically they may inhabit this planet for another half a century.

 Life has ups and downs and problems are the norm rather than the exception. We each have our share of challenges but to overcome these tribulations requires courage. Living life on your own terms requires courage. To love requires courage. To grow requires courage. To fully explore that adventure that is life requires courage. Courage then is the one thing that parents must teach their children, because this the basic ingredient which makes everything else possible.

It's Complicated

If God intended our lives to be simple He would have made us earthworms. But instead He chose to make us his supreme creatures. We are by design complex so how can we expect our lives to be uncomplicated? It would be like buying a brand new refrigerator and using it as cupboard! The utility of everything is hidden in its design. There is no waste in God’s design, nothing surplus is added simply because He had the choice to do so. It upsets me so much when people around me pray and expect their lives to be simple and uncomplicated – we are asking God to ‘waste’ His resource, which of course He doesn’t. And that is the source of our unhappiness.

First I think we need to differentiate between lifestyle and life. Lifestyle is the paraphernalia we gather around ourselves to make life materially comfortable and life is the experiences we have as we move on our path from birth to death. Lifestyles should be simple, that is what religions have been telling us all along, but don’t confuse lifestyle with life itself. Our trials, tribulations, gains and losses are all part of the educational syllabus set for us so that we can grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is only by going through our worst phases that our best emerges.

There is an inherent thirst in all of us to search for the meaning of life and most do so by searching it externally and through religious texts. But the meaning of each individual’s life is different and it can only be found in analyzing our own life and trying to understand the twists and turns of our own particular path. Nobody else can do that for us because only we know what we went through.

I never write about anything unless I have experienced it myself, only then do I feel I have the right to try and influence someone else – to do otherwise would be hypocrisy, which I abhor. My life was a true fairy tale. An only child of an only child, I was the centre of the universe for not only my parents but the entire extended family. The magic continued as I grew up, I travelled the world and had experiences most people just dream about. And then it all changed. My mother was diagnosed with dementia and I had to curb all my travels and move my office to my house. The bills kept piling up and my energy kept sapping – care giving for a dementia patient drains us emotionally and physically. Like most people I started thinking that life as I knew it was over. The fairy tale was over and the harsh reality was the nightmare I had woken into. My self-defeating thinking kept growing and I started looking outwards to find the answer to ‘why’? Like most people I started thinking this was the result of something I did wrong. This was retribution for my sins. But I was wrong.

This dark period was not a punishment at all, but  proof that God was really taking a bit of extra interest in my growth. I realized in this phase that I had nerves of steel, even when the mountain of problems grew to a seemingly insurmountable height, I treaded on always knowing that this had to end sometime. I realized that my joy centre was inside me, I did not need people to make me happy instead I could always find reasons to smile within myself.  Many of my friends thought I had become a recluse, but I had found my company in the form of books and writing became my chief form of expression. If I was sailing through life I wouldn’t have discovered the cathartic joy of writing. This alone time gave me plenty of time to reflect and get ‘intuition’ i.e. going inwards for tuition, and I am thankful for this period of my life. Hopping from one flight to another as was my lifestyle a few years ago, I wouldn’t have found myself.

I realized that my life was ready for a leap.  At the moment I have made my mother the only priority of my life, but this phase sadly will end soon, what then? Does my work really give me so much joy that it can fill the void that will be created? The answer was No. During this phase one sentence kept popping up in my mind “connect the dots…” and I began to see connections between seemingly unrelated philosophies, mythologies and events from ancient history. I began to understand that my purpose, my particular meaning of life lay in this phrase. This was what life was training me for, this is why I was forced to go through this period. What I did not really know at that time was the wherewithal  of translating this intangible concept into my physical reality. One day out- of- the- blue that idea came to me that I can’t really go further in my ‘connecting the dots’ till I have authentic knowledge.  And for that I need to get a formal education in history and work to get my PhD in ancient history. The very idea lifted my mood, it made me excited and I knew this was the course I was meant to take. I knew that when it’s time for my mother to make her transition from the physical world this pursuit will fill the void. What the universe requires from me ultimately I don’t know yet, but I am sure that the next stage will also become clear when the time comes.

Each one of us has a destiny but it is up to us to uncover it. If we can’t read the clues and pray for life to be simple we fail to uncover it and go unfulfilled from this world. Not all of us are born to be great philanthropists or highly successful business tycoons, but we are all certainly all born for a reason, a unique destiny which only we can manifest. There is no honour in living like earth worms! The past must be reflected upon to understand the future but wanting the past to return is our biggest source of unhappiness. The job of our past is to shape our future not be our future!

Allah Om - The Keys Of A Vibrational Universe

I am excited. The kind of excitement one feels when a key piece of life’s jigsaw puzzle falls in place. The process of discovery is strange and never really linear, one unrelated concept can lead you to discover an answer to the most pressing question on your mind. There is but one condition for learning and discovery - keeping an open mind.

The other day someone was describing the meaning or rather the philosophy behind the Hindu chant ‘OM’. Now before I go any further, OM is a word made popular as a meditative chant in the western world, but actually it is the foundation stone for the religion we know as Hinduism. What is interesting is that OM precedes all prayers, all mantras. Whether someone is paying homage to Shiva, Vishnu or any other deity, it always starts with OM. Hindus believe that OM encompasses the entire universe. Not many know why, but as is the case with all religions on this planet they have been told so they believe, the process of discovery in most religions has been stunted a long time ago by dogma. OM is above and beyond the gods and goddesses they worship.

Anyways, coming back to the original track of this article, what caught my attention was when they started describing the vibrations emanating from this word. OM as it is written in Sanskrit comprises of 3 parts aa, oo and mmm. Now let’s conduct a little experiment – say aaaa a few times and identify where you feel the vibrations, you will feel a resonance in your belly. Now say ooo, now the vibrations can be felt in the chest. And last, say mmmmm and you will feel the resonance in your throat.

This got me thinking. As a Muslim, Allah is the name by which God prefers to be addressed. Surely the name of the Almighty cannot be simply a word derived from Hebrew and Aramic languages. It has to have a far greater significance than that.  So I started experimenting with the vibrations of the name. The vibrations for aaaa were the same, obviously in both OM and Allah, centered in the belly. Then comes LLLLLAAAA, strangely, I felt the resonance in my chest, just like oooo in OM. In anticipation I tried AHHHHHH and guess what? The throat was the centre of resonance this time.

I was floored that the vibrations of both words were identical. In Sufi practices the vibration of AHHHH is made more pronounced by chanting Allah Hu. But this was not the end of the discovery, but the start. Over the years I have spent many hours reading about Law of Attraction and one of the basic tenets is that our thought vibrations attract our physical reality. If our thought vibrations are at a low scale i.e. fear, anger, helplessness etc. we attract those realities. If on the other hand, we are able to raise our vibrations to happiness, faith, love, compassion, then we start attracting realities which give us more of such experiences. 

It is a vibrational universe, and the String Theory of Quantum Physics confirms this. In a lay man’s words, the universe is comprised of one-dimensional objects called ‘strings’. The variations of oscillation or vibrations of these strings give rise to various particles. Simply put if strings vibrate a certain way they become electrons, if their vibration is different, they could be neutrons etc.

So thoughts are vibrations and it is a vibrational universe. The Master and Creator of the universe is God.  This means the name of God must encompass within it the key to accessing the higher vibrations. If His name does not bring you peace, joy, love and compassion, then it can only mean two things; one, it is not the real name; or two, you are chanting it wrong without feeling the vibrations. I believe that Allah and OM are not just words, they are the key to unlocking the universe. They are designed to help you reach the highest vibrations possible, hence enabling you to manifest in your reality all that is positive, be it health, wealth or happiness.  In other words your prayers are answered.

I have not really experimented with any other names by which God is known in other religions simply because I really don’t know much about them.  If you practice other religions please do feel free to experiment with the title by which you address God. In the meantime, if you are working on the Law of Attraction and working on raising your vibrations try chanting OM or Allah. Obviously it is easy for Muslims and Hindus. We don’t have to select, Muslims will chant Allah and Hindus will chant OM. But the rest of the world will need to select one which appeals most to them.  Don’t keep chanting without feeling the vibrations, it won’t have any affect at all. But if you do it right, you will feel a kind of inner cleansing that is hard to describe. The negativity seems to fade and it is hard to feel hopeless and stressed.

It may seem strange that I am taking examples of two seemingly opposite religions. One worships multiple gods and the other is the absolute bastion of monotheism.  Perhaps because the fundamental texts of both these religions have not undergone editing and transliterations like the others have, which is why it is easier to identify the core concepts of these religions and arrive at the truth behind them.  The truth cannot be changed. The truth is absolute. So if one finds the truth in one religion it is then easy to try and find parallels in others.  Religion is enduring and that which endures cannot be just an amalgamation of rituals and stories. For something to endure it has to be based not only on universal principles but also mysteries which can only be understood as mankind evolves its understanding of science and the nature of the universe we inhabit. 

Never in the history of mankind have we been so knowledgeable or have made such strides in science. We are perfectly poised to seek the hidden codes of our religions. It is now time to seek out the truth. We may not understand everything, because our knowledge is still limited and as it expands so will our understanding of religion.  Unfortunately, we have become so obsessed with our rituals and trying to prove to each other why they are wrong and we are right. We have defied the very reason why religions were sent our way – peace, harmony and love for all.

A Book Waiting To Be Written

I have always wanted to write a book, but books are written by people who have answers or who have something original to contribute to the world. Books share knowledge and wisdom. A reader's world view expands with every book. Unfortunately I have no such thing to share. All I have are questions. I have an incredible desire to understand my life but every time I introspect I come up with more questions.

Everything happens for a reason is a mantra I have lived by all my life. Nothing is really random. All experiences, good or bad, are building blocks for future events. I am blessed to have really unusual childhood experiences. I grew up in a house where 5 languages were spoken and where religious tolerance was not just something my parents talked about but a living reality. My mom is Muslim and her best friend for now nearly 55 years is a Hindu. Although it has been 30 years since my aunt moved away to India, the bond between these two women is just as strong. Even my mom's dementia cannot dim her love for her best friend. 

The friendship of these two incredible ladies is so strong that our families grew up as one. They are sisters and their friendship is embraced by the entire family. My aunt's siblings consider my mom as another sister. The entire extended family on both sides takes it for granted that they are sisters. I have yet to come across another example of such strong and pure friendship. When one was worried or had a problem the other automatically knew it even before they spoke to each other. It was a unique telepathy.

The beauty of their relationship lies in their religious tolerance. Growing up, I saw that both ladies were strong in their own religious practices and yet never once have I come across an incident where one tried to convert the other. Nor did I ever see an occasion where one offended the other due to insensitivity. My aunt though not a vegetarian, does not eat beef obviously, so it was never cooked in our house. Simple. No beef, no issue of contamination. They kept life simple. Perhaps that is why they enjoyed their relationship.

All festivals were celebrated together, be it Eid or Diwali, we had a blast. My dad used to bring the fireworks for all the kids on Diwali and it never occurred to us that it was unusual. They taught me and my other cousins that you can remain true to your own beliefs while respecting the customs and rituals of others. We worshiped Allah and never bowed to any idols, but then we never showed any disrespect either. Few people are so lucky as to go through their formation years in such an environment.

The biggest issue I had as a child was that I was jealous of my cousin that my mom considered her perfect and wanted me to be like her and my cousin was jealous because her mom doted on me a bit too much. Sibling rivalry of an only child. It was a weird but wonderful childhood. Which is perhaps why I have so many questions now. At the back of my mind is the feeling that there is a higher purpose I have to fulfill and these childhood experiences were meant to build the foundation for it. But what? I don't think that merely an open mind is the purpose. That is my world view, but to do something concrete with this world view is the purpose. And I struggle each day to discover it.

Also I find it very strange that have experienced such friendship firsthand, why am I so aloof and disconnected with people? Surely with such an example in my life I should have long lasting and deep connection with people, or at least one friend. But strangely I find it very hard to hold and maintain friendships. I have friends yes, some I've known for nearly 30 years, but for some reason I can't seem to make the effort to keep in touch and invest in those relationships. Strange! How can a positive experience lead to such an opposite outcome?

Each chapter in my early life leads to more questions. I should be able to make sense of them but I can't. And till the day comes when I have clarity of understanding I cannot really write a book. After all, no reader in the world wants to end up more confused at the end of the book than when they started reading it. 

Born On The Cusp - The children of the 60's

In astrology a cusp is a transitional point or time between 2 astrological signs – it is a time when one sign ends and the other begins. For the 20^th century, 60’s were the cusp decade. It was a decade when the world didn’t simply slide into change, but jolted itself on a new cultural level.  The staid modest world was left behind forever as the mini skirted world set its sight on space. Although each generation has its own challenges, triumphs and disappointments. As a 60’s child, I feel that possibly the biggest chunk of disillusionment fell in our laps and the Pakistani 60’s child was probably hit the hardest.

We were born in a decade when the first human landed on the moon. What an elation that was. We were perhaps too young to remember the details but many of us do remember the excitement and the total awe of that event. As we grew up our expectations of the future were in part formed by the ‘Jetsons’. We expected that the world we would grow up in would definitely be a wondrous, super convenient, space exploring paradise. Little did we know that by the time we hit middle age our country would actually be in the Middle Ages. Forget about fantastic gadgets which would make life easy, we would not even have electricity to run the most basic appliances. We certainly never thought that gas would ever run out and many would be forced to use oil and wood burning stoves to cook their meals in the winters.

When my generation started going to school, we were taught about our country’s fabulous 5 year plans. Its mind boggling to think that by the time we grew up our country would become incapable of forming the simplest of policies on the most trivial of matters. What happened to us?

We are a generation whose grandparents had witnessed the Partition first hand and their memories were as vivid as when it was happening. They had lived through the British Raj and for us it was almost as if they were talking about the Moghul Era, after all anything we read in the history books had to be ancient. Talking to them made us realize how much he world had changed, our present was so much better and of course our future had to be brilliant. If only we had known that the days of the Raj never really went away. Somewhere during that time was a group of children who were listening to the same stories and were dreaming of bringing back those days and they did!

Many of our parents remember living in old houses without electricity and even those with electricity didn’t really use much of it because our grandparents were mostly afraid of switching on the lights lest they got electrocuted. But surprisingly these were people who even if they were illiterate, were highly educated because throughout the ages wisdom has been passed orally through stories, songs and fables. However there is a requirement for this tradition to continue – 2 people willing to talk and listen. We have now stepped into the communication age, anything we want to learn about, all knowledge is now a click away. We are now connected with everyone we know, and many we have never met, through social networking sites, but you will have to really search long and hard to find really educated people. Literate, yes but educated? Not really.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”…these words aptly describe the political scenario we witnessed in our growing up years. We went from total admiration and respect for our Armed Forces during the 1965 war with India to almost a pathological hatred of the same during the Zia regime. We went from utter dejection and national depression after the fall of Dhaka to feverish motivation during the 1974 Islamic Summit. Little did we know that our national emotions would flat-line to constant state of frustration by the time we reached the 21^st century.

We thought rather naively that wars were only fought with enemies and it meant air raids and soldiers fighting to keep the borders safe. We could never have imagined that every time we would step out of our homes we would be walking out on the battle field. We were stupid enough to think that the value of every innocent human life was the same – how were we to know that every single human from the Western world would be important while thousands of us would end up being collateral damage.

Some might say we are lucky that our lives have been so rich and I agree we have been blessed to have witnessed a changing world first hand. But I wish that this richness of experience was because our expectations were met rather than the disappointments which seem to define us. 

Islam and Hinduism - Different religions with common elements

There are 2 problems when writing about ancient religions – first they are ancient and second they are religions. Over millennia the mythology of ancient religions becomes more important than the core of the religion itself. Its followers adhere to these myths as if they were real and the followers of other religions target these very myths as the basis of their claim that their religion is nothing more than a bunch of lies. This problem takes on another dimension when the ancient religion is Hinduism and a Muslim tries to understand the truth behind the myths and find common truths between Hinduism and Islam. This is what I am attempting to do and hence opening the door to criticism from both Hindus and Muslims.

 I have always maintained that every major religion practiced on this planet had one Divine Source. If that was not the case Allah would not have said that He sent 124,000 prophets. They were sent to every civilization, every community starting from Adam and ending with Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). If this is the case then the source of every religion has to be Divine inspiration, and if this is so then not only the message but the components of all religions also have to be the same. Let’s just examine one aspect of Hinduism – the concept of multiple gods which are known as Devtaas. For practitioners of monotheistic religions especially Islam this is the very basis on which it is rejected as a false religion since our belief states that God is one and one only. But we need to go beyond the current belief system of Hinduism and examine what a Devtaa really is.

Devtaa simply means ‘the shining ones’ i.e. ‘of light’ and they basically control every aspect of our natural world such as fire, wind, rain, crops etc. According to Hinduism there are about 330 million of these devs. The ancient Aryans starting worshiping these devs because to appease them meant that the natural order of their world was maintained. Whether they should worship them or not is another debate, but what I’m interested to know is if devtaas really exist and does Islam recognize them? I came to the conclusion that Islam also recognizes devtaas. Devs are known in Islam as Malaaik or angels as we commonly refer to them in English.

Islam tells us that angels are made of ‘light’ which is precisely what dev means. In Islam too we are told that the angels have been assigned specific tasks by Allah in order to keep the universe in order. Muslims believe that angels are too numerable to be able to count them. The 330 million figure does not really mean that someone sat and made a list and counted all devtaas physically, its simply a number which emphasizes that they are too many to be counted by us.

The concept of Jins is also present in Hinduism, there they are called Asur. These Asur are the beings which are forever at war with the devtaas and spread malice, doubt, greed and general evil in this world. In Islam too the ‘shaitaan’ or evil jins are responsible for causing human beings to plunge into doubt and darkness, the chief shaitaan being ‘Iblis’ or the Devil as the west call him. If we know of angels and jins through Quran and our Prophet (PBUH), then how come the Hindus have been saying the same things for thousands of years before us? This would mean that the source of their knowledge would have to be the same i.e. Allah. Which means that some of His prophets must have been responsible for the establishment Sanatana Dharma (or Hinduism as we now call it).

Muslims and other followers of monotheistic religions can argue that the practice of worshipping these multiple devtaas is wrong and which is why they need to convert to their religions. Actually their religious texts also point to one God or Ishwar, but somehow the worship of devtaas became the established practice. But when a religion comes into being before writing itself, then chances are that the message will get contorted over the millennia. Which is why God kept sending his messengers to ensure constant updation.Next  time someone dismisses Hinduism as complete fiction they should remember that it isn’t. Religion itself has nothing to do with what its followers do to it.

 

Waiting To Grow Up

They say you are as old (or young ) as you feel. Some people feel that one should never allow the child in them to grow old because as long as your spirit is childlike you will be young at heart. There are others who say that one should act their age – so if you are 50 and behaving like a child there is something wrong with you. In other words, one should be a hypocrite who feels one way but acts to the contrary.

Like most people I too have struggled with this hypocrisy. I feel like a kid but must act like a mature grown-up. I have been trying to figure out what about me has changed ( apart from the physical aspect ) which is different from when I was a child and really nothing comes to mind. I seem to be lumbering  through the years but the spirit seems to be the same as it was when I had just started to discover this world many decades ago. I still love amusement parks, I still love to day dream just as I did when I was in school and most of all I am still full of anticipation. More than anything else childhood is about anticipation - waiting for life to unfold when we grow up. A child observes the grown-up world and wonders when they will be able to participate in it. Childhood is all about waiting for the future. Strangely enough I seem to be doing the same.

At my age people are usually done with the ‘living’ aspect of life. This is when retirement is a reality looming on the horizon and people start mentally preparing themselves for illnesses, sedentary life styles and winding down for the inevitable. I should be doing the same. That’s the sensible approach to life, but I can’t seem to shake this feeling that there are many more turn on this journey.

Probably this extended childhood is due to the fact that for my mother I am still her little girl, and for me she is still the grown up of the house. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t remember anything I tell her, I still seek her permission for even the smallest matters just as I did in my childhood. I don’t need her permission, nor does she really fully grasp the situation, but it makes me feel better.

Having a parent alive is perhaps the most important factor for a prolonged childhood. It doesn’t matter how old you are, as long as there is even one parent alive you are officially a child. By the same argument, it doesn’t matter how young they are, children who do not have any parents tend to grow-up at tender ages. They may be physically small but they carry inside them the maturity of years.

I know my childhood will not last much longer. Unlike a child who can’t wait to grow-up, childlike grown-ups can’t bear the thought of it because it means the loss of parents. We are Peter Pans who never want to grow-up. And herein lies the dilemma. On one hand I am still waiting to grow-up, while on the other I want it to continue as is.

 

Restoring Humpty Dumpty

My last post was pretty dismal and some of my friends were genuinely concerned about me. I assure you that there is nothing to be worried about and I am now out of that dark mood. My blog is not really about promoting my business or establishing myself as an ‘ expert’ in any given area – it is simply a means of catharsis. Sometimes I need to just simply put down in writing the connections I make on various subjects such as mythology and history because unless I do they keep swirling in my head and keep me preoccupied. Sometimes I write because I am frustrated at what’s happening in the social and political arena and as an ordinary citizen I put my concerns on my blog simply as a way of registering my protest. And sometimes I write because I need to rid myself of all the negative emotions that are welling up inside me so that I can be functional again.

My strategy of coping with negative feelings is a bit radical. Rather than just try and divert myself when I feel sad and depressed I take that darkness to the extreme. If I am unhappy then I take my unhappiness to the point of sheer misery and once I have worked it out of my system I can then move on to healing myself. As they say once you hit rock bottom there is no way else to go but up. All emotions, good or bad, should be experienced to their maximum otherwise they never truly go away. For good emotions that is not such a bad thing to happen but negative emotions remain with you like that lingering residual cough one gets after a particularly nasty bronchial infection – just when you think you are OK the cough attack comes on to remind you that you aren’t. So my last post was my attempt to hit rock bottom and I’m happy to report that I did and now I’m on my way up again.

After I read my post I realized that I was indulging in self-pity. Who was this whining person? Me? I wasn’t like that and if I was becoming this way then it was time to take corrective measures. So  I went on a little journey of introspection and knocked on doors within me which had been so far kept firmly shut. Most of these doors had bits of benign junk that I found easy to clean up but every time I did the junk kept coming back again, it just refused to go away for good. In the end I figured that the door with the biggest padlock and which I was avoiding for so long held the broom which could clean up all that was behind the other doors. I knew that once I opened that door I would have to pass a test to get that magic broom and that test would be daunting to say the least.

When I finally opened that door I found fragments of myself and the test was to put myself back together again like Humpty Dumpty. I tried for a long time but even though each piece was my own all of them were distorted so that they didn’t seem to quite come together in a neat fit. But what had distorted them so much? Why wasn’t I myself anymore? And then I remembered an old CD I had once left on my car’s dashboard out in the sun and which had become warped just like my own self was now warped. The culprit was an external force in both cases but the blame was mine because I was careless and did not take care of them. The CD was damaged by the sun’s heat and I was damaged by all the negative input I was allowing people to send my way. Slowly over a period of time these minor inputs had managed to chip away at a substantial part of my self-esteem. For someone who teaches other people about self-esteem this was not just shocking it was also shameful. I felt like a fraud – what right did I have to stand up in front of a group and talk to them about a subject in which I had myself failed? But then I realized that this was not really a failure it was a big lesson. I learnt that even if your strength is left untended for some time it will start to weaken. Atrophy is never far behind.

Once I realized this I could use my secret chants and potions to restore all my pieces and assemble myself once again.  Having passed this test I was then handed the magic  broom with which I proceeded to clean all the mess behind the other doors.

Moral of the story? It doesn’t matter how hard you try to improve yourself and it doesn’t matter how many self-development books you read, if you don’t work on improving your self-esteem nothing will work.  Also, while working on your areas of improvement do not neglect your strengths otherwise they too will become weak. And on more thing that I learnt from this experience was that the root of all our problems lies within us. Circumstances and people are neutral, how we respond to them gives them negative or positive labels. I am happy to report that since I started working on myself, even my mom’s situation seems to have improved. Her dementia is not better but now I keep her preoccupied with jokes and light conversations so that she doesn’t keep going around in circles and asking the same things again and again.

Life In A Loop

‘Ground Hog Day’ seems to come to mind whenever I try to describe my life.  Every morning I get up to relive the same day again and again, nothing changes, no surprises. When you are the only person living with a dementia patient there is not much room for anything else in your life. Their life and their reality becomes the dominant factor so that at times you are incapable of anything else but to get trapped in their world and it is a world that plays over and over again in a loop. My mother’s dementia worsens with time and now it seems that there are 4 or 5 questions she keeps asking all day over and over again and I have no choice but to keep answering them over and over again.  The fun and friendship I once shared with this woman is now gone forever – there is no conversation anymore just the same questions and the same answers. So instead I talk to myself.

Being an only child talking to myself is something I have done pretty much all my life but now it is my means of survival. One advantage of this self dialogue of course is that one does not have to hold anything back – you can be completely honest about your emotions and your fears with yourself. No need to keep up the mask of politeness or norms of acceptability. The disadvantage of course is that sometimes you ask yourself questions for which obviously you have no answer and then you try and reach out to someone who might. I find it hard to talk to people so I write instead, in the hope that someone may have an answer.

They say “good things happen to good people” if this is the case then am I a bad person to have been put through this situation? Some people tell me that this is a “trial from God” and good people are given this trial period as a test of faith. But both these statements seem to negate each other. I you believe the first one then bad things should not be happening and if you believe the second then if life is happy and good you are bad because you are not being tested. Somehow I am not able to reconcile these statements in my head. If someone else can please let me know.

There is another pet statement that most people make in order to make me feel better – that I will be rewarded with Heaven as a result of the care I am giving my mom.  Frankly after a while this statement makes you feel worse rather than good because you realize that nothing good will come from it at least while you are alive - and when you die? Who knows? This may sound heretic to many but when life becomes a living hell your faith in an undisclosed destination starts to falter. At least mine has. Besides implying that you take care of your parents because you would be rewarded makes this act so selfish and greedy. If there was no Heaven or Hell then would we still do the right thing? I think the test of humanity is to try to be good and do the right thing not because you expect a reward for your labours but because you cannot perceive any other course of action.

In the beginning I used to think that I am doing this out of love, but I had to face the harsh truth that it wasn’t love that was my motivator, it was responsibility. The love is there but this person is not the person I once loved – she only inhabits her body. Her personality is gone, she is only half a person – the physical is present but the spirit which made her unique is gone. You cannot love half a person completely. But there is a strong sense of responsibility which has taken over and all my actions, decisions, and will power now stems from this. I wasn’t a very responsible person so that comes as a bit of a shock for me.  I am too shallow and too selfish to really have a strong sense of responsibility. Being an only child I never really learnt to think for anyone else but myself. Perhaps this sense of responsibility is really a mask to hide my selfishness? I realize that once she is no more the house will be very very silent – no one to even ask these 4 or 5 questions. Perhaps that is why I endure this spin cycle of emotions every day.

I go through a daily cycle of resentment, guilt, frustration and remorse. I resent the state of limbo that my life is currently in and I feel guilty about having these thoughts. I feel frustrated that my life is on hold and then feel remorse at allowing these thoughts to come.  Each morning I get up with a resolve to be happy and each night I go to sleep completely spent and drained. Perhaps the one emotion I feel most often is that of loss. What happened to all the dreams I had? Where did all that promise fade away to? Sometimes I feel that my life is nothing more than a utility for my mom. I was sent so that she would not be alone in her old age and I’m of use only till she is here. This thought used to make me feel angry now I’ve kind of reconciled myself with it. The image of a flat lined cardiac monitor comes to mind when I think of my own life. No spikes at all just the same constant flat line. I grew up thinking I was destined to do something big something important so perhaps the hardest thing for me to accept has been that I will probably amount to nothing. There is no sudden bend in front of me which will take my life on another path. I am blessed that I was able to travel and have new experiences early on in my life and perhaps an attempt to recreate those days is futile but no one has ever really been able to control their wishes.

My most important question remains unanswered – why? Is there really an explanation for why this is happening? Or is life just random and we conjure explanations just to make ourselves feel better? Am I good or am I bad? Is this a lesson or a trial? Am I being blessed or is this my punishment? Is the present a consequence of actions in my present life or is it the karma of a previous one? I realize that I am going round and round in circles and perhaps I too am now trapped in a little world of my own like a person in a maze from which they cannot find their way out. 

Law of Attraction and Religion

Recently there has been a lot of focus on the Law of Attraction especially since the book ‘ The Secret’ was published. The basic tenet of this philosophy is simple – you manifest in your reality that what you think about most. In other words humans have the power to create the reality of their lives just by thinking about it. This usually causes great alarm to the religiously inclined, because what it means is that the power lies within humans rather than an external force i.e. God and that of course is heresy.

However Law of Attraction is not actually about thinking and manifesting, it is about thinking (stating a desire) and then allowing it in our lives and the bulk of our work is in the allowance not the thinking aspect of this law. But still the question remains, is it contrary to our religious beliefs? When I first started to study the Law of Attraction, like most people I too had many questions and concerns. Over time as I studied it more in-depth, I found that religion actually provided a medium for this law and rather than being at cross purposes, they complimented each other.

The first big question that emerges in everyone’s mind is if all we have to do is think then where does prayer come in? My counter question to that is why do we pray? It is of course to ask God for something – be it a material desire, salvation or just a state of protection. In fact whenever we pray we fulfill the first step of the Law of Attraction i.e. stating our desire – we let the Universe know what it is that we want.  The act of praying or asking God is of no use whatsoever unless you really and truly believe in God. It is our belief that gives strength to the prayer. When we pray in essence we hand over our requests to God knowing that He will somehow make them true for us.

This process of letting go or handing it over to the Universe is critical for desire manifestation according to the Law of Attraction. As I mentioned earlier the bulk of our work is to allow our desires to manifest. To the novice this may seem like the easiest thing in the world but to the initiated it is the most difficult aspect of LOA. You see the Universe does not respond to our words but to our emotions. In other words we don’t attract things in our lives by thinking about them rather we attract circumstances, things, events which closely match our predominant feeling. The most important aspect of allowance is to feel predominantly happy, optimistic or joyous. The longer we are able to maintain this state of joy, the quicker the manifestations will be. Vividly imagining as if your desires have already manifested and seeing yourself enjoying them also helps but on the flip side constantly thinking of when they will materialize actually delays the manifestations because the predominant feeling is that of waiting and the attention is on the absence of what you desire. Waiting and focusing on the lacking will generate more waiting and lack.

Now let’s get back to religion. You see the whole point of praying is to let go of things and let God take care of them. If our belief is truly strong then the act of praying should bring us relief from all negative emotions and make us content in the knowledge that our prayers are being answered. However, most people are never able to cross this line of faith. They constantly worry about when and if their prayers will be answered thus actually delaying the allowance and then wondering why God does not answer their prayers. He will if you move out of the way! If you don’t really trust Him then why go through the motions?

Every religion has a set of rituals designed to bring contentment, peace and joy.  Being a Muslim the act of Salaat 5 times a day for me is Allah’s way of ensuring that we not only take stress busting breaks but also that we completely forget our worries during that time and enter into a state of bliss. After all if your faith in God and your rituals do not make you happy then there is something very wrong in your personal belief system – I said personal belief system because religions cannot be wrong, people who follow them usually are.  

If you truly practice religion the way it was meant to be then you use the Law of Attraction to your advantage if not the Law of Attraction will keep working against you. Just look at the state of our country and the Ummah as well. We spend most of our time in blaming, being angry, hating, and being generally unhappy and what are we manifesting as a result? We are attracting and manifesting circumstances which make us angrier, more miserable and helpless. 

Of course even for those who are masters of the Law of Attraction sometimes seemingly random events occur in their lives or they are faced with unforeseen challenges. The avid LOA fan will tell you that at some level of your sub-conscious you attracted these things in your life. However my take is slightly different. I believe that God puts us in these situations so that not only does our resolve and character strengthen, but that our desires grow as well. Life would be pretty boring if we all had the same level of desires, usually a tragedy in our lives provides the spring board for noble and grand desires.  Therefore these events are what is sometimes described as ‘ contrast’ or situations where we can come to a decision as to what we want next in our lives.

It is easy to discard any idea without the slightest investigation, usually because when we are faced with two seemingly contradicting philosophies we become extremely uncomfortable emotionally. The easier route to take is just negate the one that is causing the turmoil. The more difficult and noble approach is to go through this discomfort, examine your own beliefs, find the truth behind both ideas and then build a bridge. 

Its All A Myth

All religious traditions have 3 things in common; they all help their followers find inner peace through a path of righteousness, each has its own rituals and they all contain their own specific mythologies. Objectively speaking no one really has a problem with the core essence of any religion i.e. the central message. Every religion teaches its followers to adopt the noblest of human characteristics – truth, serenity, justice, peace, sacrifice and simplicity. I have not come across a religion that teaches anything to the contrary.

Rituals are the identity badges of every religion. It is the rituals that people follow which enables us to differentiate between these traditions, hence they are unique for every religion. When followers of one religion criticize others they usually launch their attack on the basis of the rituals that a religion follows.

Mythologies are stories that are associated with a religion and can be loosely termed as the ‘history’ of that tradition. I would like to clarify here that contrary to popular belief a myth does not mean a lie – a myth is a traditional story usually involving supernatural characters. Many rituals are spawned from the mythology of that particular religion. A number of rituals are designed to help preserve these mythologies so that people never forget their origins. But mythologies are much more than just history passed down through the generations in a narrative form. They embody the wisdom of the ancestors passed in an easy to remember narrative.

Of all the ancient mythologies I find those of the Vedic tradition i.e. Hinduism the most interesting personally, simply because unlike the Greek and the Romans, Hinduism is considered to be the most ancient of all practiced religions and since I am from the sub-continent I find it easier to understand and study. What fascinates me about these myths is the attempt of the ancient people to pass on their knowledge of geography, medicine, history and the arts to their descendants through fascinating imagery.

Take for example the story of the sacred river Ganga. Ganga was the daughter of the king Hemavat ruler of Himalaya.  All his daughters were turned into rivers except Parvatti who became Shiva’s consort. Ganga was taken to the heavens to purify it after the Asuras had polluted it.  She was asked to come down and flow on earth by Bhagirtha. The sins of Bhagiratha’s ancestors had polluted the land and there was chaos and famine everywhere, after years of prayers and meditation he finally managed to bring Ganga down from the heavens. But if Ganga were to come straight down earth would not have been able to sustain its force hence Shiva intervened and Ganga first flowed onto his head and then made her way down to earth through his hair.

For non-Hindus this is fantasy at its peak, but look more closely and you will find a complete lesson on basic geography. In Sanskrit Hem means snow and hence Hemavat was snow king whose kingdom was Himalaya which means snow abode. All his daughters were fated to become rivers including Saraswati and Ganga, which as any school going kid now will tell you  makes perfect sense as we know that these rivers start in the Himalayas as snow, therefore in essence these rivers are the daughters of king of snow who rules over the snow abode. The river Ganga does not really start as a large river from a single point of origin, although the main river can be traced to Gomukh where the glacial melt water flows down into a stream which down course becomes the mighty river. However there are several streams and rivulets along the Himalaya which contribute their waters to Ganga. So to say that Ganga flows down from the locks of Shiva is a metaphor to describe the hundreds of streams which flow down to the river. A geography lesson narrated with imagery.

The sins of Bhagiratha’s ancestors had brought a terrible plight to his people who were dying of starvation due to famine. Again this is a way of not only making people understand that water is essential to life but that our reckless behaviour can have a long lasting effect on our future generations   a lesson we still haven’t learnt unfortunately). Clean water nourishes the land and provides a balance essential for its sustainability. As with all religions the ritual surrounding this myth has become more important than the real meaning of the story. Each year millions of people ritually ‘cleanse ‘ themselves by bathing in the waters of Ganga which itself is now fast becoming the most polluted river on the planet.  The ritual has become bigger than the lesson and this is not just in Hinduism, in every religion we see examples where rituals are being adhered to with fervour without a real understanding what they are meant to commemorate.  Muslims pray 5 times a day - the ritual is supposed to help focus their thoughts, relieve stress and surrender themselves to Allah but little of this really happens, while the body is postulating the mind is thinking of what one is going to be doing after the prayer is over, all worries, all problems all thoughts are still very much in play and surrender is the last thing on people’s mind.

There is no getting away from the fact that as long as we are alive we will be living in a diverse world. Religious diversity is a fact and those who either ignore this or try to eradicate it are living in a fool’s paradise. We have to understand that to believe in a religion and to respect it are two different things. I may be practicing one religion but that does not give me the right to negate or be derisive of others. If we take a little bit of time to understand the mythology of any religion we will be able to understand the wisdom behind it and no one can really argue with wisdom.

None of us can really deny the essence of any religion because they are the same. We can all respect other religions if we try and understand what their myths are really trying to say. And as for rituals - we can all agree to have the right to be different from each other. Perhaps then the world will become a more liveable, beautiful place. But this is only possible if we all take a step towards understanding and respecting each other rather than running in the opposite direction every time we come across a belief that is contrary to ours.

Nostalgia Attack

When you catch yourself spending more time indulging in nostalgia than dreaming of the future you know you are getting old. I guess I’m getting old. Childhood memories, snapshots of places and people long gone, seem to creep up out of nowhere. My parents were the Partition generation i.e. they were witness to the excitement as well as the ensuing misery as people migrated, got killed and separated from their loved ones. My mom lost everything - her father, her property, her childhood, her joy, so it is not strange that she would spend the rest of her life looking back, saddened by the turn of events and what could have been. As a reaction to her attachment to the past I lived my life with one hand on the delete button. A lot has happened in my life but I really don’t remember things with clarity, I have always looked ahead. So it is doubly strange that suddenly I have become nostalgic.

I belong to a generation that straddles two completely different eras. My early childhood was spent in a time when Karachi was still carrying the vivid impressions of the ‘Raj’, where things were built to last a 100 years and where change occurred infrequently. My adult life has been part of the IT revolution where each day brings a life changing innovation. Perhaps that is why even my earliest memories seem to be like old black and white photographs – slightly faded and tinged with sepia.

Karachi was such a different city back then. One of its most defining features was the tram service which ran right down the middle of the roads of Saddar and  M.A Jinnah road (or Bunder road as it was known then). I didn’t see the trams run for very long as their era was almost at an end by the time I was old enough to notice them. I remember people getting off and on these trams as they slowly made their way up and down and most vividly I remember the clanging of the brass bells as they warned people to get out of their path. The city was filled with the sound of bells and occasional horns rather than the pressure horns of the public transport which took its place. Where Gul Plaza now stands on M.A Jinnah road was the central depot of the trams or Tram Godhi as it was locally known. It was a humungous structure with corrugated metal sheets as roofing and though it was no more than a very big shed, it was still architecturally more pleasing to the eye than the ugly monstrosity that has taken its place.

The 60’s and 70’s saw an explosion of property development where beautiful building were torn down and replaced by eye sores which as time passed by became more than just sores – they became puss infected wounds which unfortunately we have no choice but to suffer each day. The area of Soldier Bazaar had grand stone bungalows, each of which had large gardens filled with ‘peepal’ and banyan trees. In fact these trees were all over Karachi and perhaps the best known characteristic of the city. As we started tearing down the structures we also cut off all the trees barring a few that remained on M.A Jinnah road, and the task of tearing down the remaining ones has been taken up by nature through gale force winds during the monsoon season. We are a nation which is addicted to shortcuts and quick profits, therefore no one ever bothered to plant new peepal or banyan trees since they take a very long time to grow. During the 90’s we started to wake up to the importance of  trees for the environment and massive plantation drives were undertaken. Karachi now had little space and no patience to allow these trees to take roots, so instead of these slow growing trees we saw hundreds of eucalyptus trees  being planted, hence changing the character of Karachi once and for all. The oases of shades in a concrete desert were no more.

Of course most people will wonder why I am not reminiscing about the peace, and tolerance of the city. I too miss those qualities of the city but then the city itself has gone through a physical metamorphosis or I daresay, mutation. And this new city has a personality befitting its new looks. A city that looks harsh and scarred has a personality which is hard and enjoys scarring others.

Death Wish

It has taken me a long time to accept the fact that I’m not really an ambitious person. For someone who has spent most of their life in corporate corridors training people who can’t wait to get to the top, it is no easy fact to accept. For a long time I felt there was something wrong with me – some form of mental illness perhaps? I look around at the people I know and they all seem to be in a hurry to get somewhere, to gain something, to be something, and I seem to be the only one just strolling down this path, having no burning desire to achieve anything specific in my life. I could find nothing in my life to which I could attach my happiness – when I get …I will be happy, when I become…I will be happy or when I go ….I will be happy. No such statements really spring up in my mind. It’s not that I have achieved utter bliss, there are a lot of things wrong with my life but somehow I know that in spite of all the imperfections I will survive and I although I want things to change, I can’t really find the fire within me to make an all our effort to do so.

Since this ‘condition’ was not normal I tried to analyze what exactly was the root of this problem. During this psychoanalysis I discovered one thing – I really believe in my immortality. I believe that the soul is eternal and I’m currently on a journey in this physical body. Since this is for me a transient phase I don’t really have the pressure of getting things done within my lifetime. I’m a tourist and as such I’m just soaking in the experiences of this journey, I am not putting the pressure of an itinerary on this trip. Having made this discovery about myself I realized that I was lying when I said I had no ambition – I did, but not one for this current physical life.

Now some of you may think I’ve gone all religious and have started to collect reward points which will get me to Heaven. Not really. I want 3 things to happen when I die. First I hope that there will be that moment of clarity when I can finally understand what my real place in the Universe is and why I was made to undertake this journey. The second is a free pass to roam the Universe. I wish my spirit could journey through the vastness of this Universe and witness its wonders. I want to see galaxies spiraling in space, I want to see a nebula where new stars are being formed, I want to see a Quasar in action in short I want to see first hand everything that I cannot while I’m in this physical body. The last thing I would like to happen when I die is to be able to answer questions which have been baffling scientists for so long – what are the other dimensions which exist other than those of time and space which we experience? What was before the beginning of the Universe? What happens after the end of our Universe?

Most people would say that I should be more concerned about making it to Heaven and making sure I don’t end up in Hell, but perhaps my definition of Heaven is a bit different. Sitting in a garden eating and drinking all day long is not really such a motivator for me, my idea of Heaven is knowledge. There are those who would be quick to term this as heresy or blasphemy since the religious texts specifically mention a garden as the final destination of the good and pious, however, I have a different take on this. We spent years trying to understand poetries written by masters and yet we are stupid enough to think that a text sent down by God himself can be understood at a literal level? If as we Muslims believe that Allah himself has promised to preserve the Quran till the Day of Judgement, then isn’t it obvious that as our civilization evolves we would understand the depth of the layers that each word contains?

The success of a religion is dependent on the validity of its message through the millennia and its ability to speak to mankind as it keeps evolving its level of knowledge. For people who lived 2000 to 14000 years ago in an arid and barren land an incentive of lush gardens ample water, milk and honey would be the best to entice them towards good – that is what they could relate to, what they could understand, hence that was the description of  Heaven. However that doesn’t really mean that Heaven is a particular location somewhere up in the skies. For all we know, we may just end up as pure consciousness in another dimension, a concept we are only now beginning to marginally understand. Anyway, this is not really about Heaven or Hell, this piece is about my desires.

So my life is without ambition, but I have a few desires for after I die. Having said that I realize that to say I have no ambition is not entirely true. My ambition or burning desire is to get to the truth and that perhaps is not possible while we are in this physical existence.

Lead me from untruth towards the truth

Lead me from darkness towards light

Lead me from mortality towards immortality

This is a beautiful prayer which perhaps defines my desires very well. The fact that it is in Sanskrit will make some squirm, as they will immediately jump to the conclusion that if its in Sanskrit then I’m leaning towards Hinduism. However these lines do not really mention any god or goddess, in fact it is a plea from a student to his teacher. Besides, belief in a religion and understanding other religious texts are 2 separate things. Surely if just by reading about other religions your own belief starts to waver, then your faith was weak in the first place.  The Sanskrit version is:

Asatho Maa Sad Gamaya

Thamaso Maa Jyothir Gamaya

Mrithyor Maa Amritham Gamaya

The Greatest Gift

I’m back after a long period of silence. It’s not that I didn’t have to say anything for so long – but rather too much. All the ideas were fighting for supremacy and the result was complete incoherence – just chatter. There was no shortage of subjects but I couldn’t find the words to give those ideas any form. Everything was getting jumbled up inside my mind, leaving me bewildered. It was a strange feeling, perhaps the closest analogy I can find is that of someone in a coma. They say comatose patients can take  inputs from their surroundings but they are incapable of reacting to them. Such was my case. I knew what I wanted to say but felt helpless when it came to actually finding the words to give form to the idea. This phase made me realize that words are really magical. Human beings are alchemists who turn the ether of their thoughts into the base metals of comprehensible ideas through words. Without words what are we?

I used to think that when various religious traditions talk about humans being God’s supreme creation it is because He gave us free will – the right to make choices and consequently change our life paths. However there is one more thing that makes us different from all other creations of God (at least the creations that co-inhabit this planet with us) and that is the gift of words. We have hundreds of languages and each language has thousands of words and each word is important for self-expression.

Without language we are nothing. We need words not only to communicate with others but with ourselves as well. If we didn’t have words how would we think? How do we ascertain how we are feeling unless we give that emotion a name? How do we reflect on our  lives without words?  How do we plan for our future? How do we contemplate on all our mistakes? We need words to know our selves. Some would ask what about the deaf and mute people? Even though they cannot speak to us through spoken words they do use sign and even those who don’t use sign I’m sure they have developed an entirely unique language for themselves, the meaning of which is only known to the individual who created it and through that language they understand themselves and others.

In fact if God hadn’t given us languages He could not have sent us any messengers nor any religious books. He needed to give us language so we could get to Him. We tend to think of ancient man as being primitive but actually our ancestors were closer to the truth than we give them credit for. Since the dawn of mankind ritualistic chanting has been an important aspect of religious ceremony. Be it the tribal chants of the jungle tribes, the hymns of the ancient Aryans or the current practice of reciting out loud  the Quran or other religious books and hymns. When ancient man heard the ‘sacred’  words and felt their power, it was not because of what words were being recited – rather it was the awe of the sound of words i.e. the reverence of words, of language itself.  Over the years, like with everything else, the core truth got ignored somehow and the rituals honouring those truths have taken centre stage. We are caught up in fighting over who speaks which words - we have forgotten that the very fact we can speak is the greatest gift of God.